So, I've never really told you this, but the real reason I didn't want Trigger to go away to college is that I somehow knew that one day I was destined to receive this panicked phone call, which came in at approximate 8:53 on Sunday morning. . . .
___________________
Me: Hello?
Trigger: Mom! I'm in the most pain I've ever been in in my life! Should I go to the emergency room?
Me: What's wrong?
Trigger: I told you yesterday! My throat is so sore it feels like it's swollen shut. . .my glands are HUGE and my neck's all swollen. . . I can't move it, you know. . . and I can't touch it. . . and I have the worst headache I've ever had in my life. . . and it's going down my spine now. . . and I've never been in so much pain in my entire life! Should I go to the emergency room or not?
Me (considering. . .) That much pain? More than the time you broke your right foot in that Irish Dancing competition?
Trigger: Yup!
Me: More than the time you broke your left foot playing basketball?
Trigger: More!
Me: And what about the two times I brought you to the emergency room with pleurisy? More than even those times?
Trigger: Way more!
Me: How about the appendicitis? It can't hurt more than the time you had your appendix out. . .
Trigger: Mom! That was Ponzi, not me!
Me: What?
Trigger: Mom! I didn't ask you anything. Talk to me!
Me: I'm trying! But your father wants to know if you have a fever. . .and if you were out at a frat party last night. . . oh, and are you peeing. . .
Trigger: Of course I wasn't out last night, Mom! I'm sick! And I don't even know if I have a fever 'cause I can't find my thermometer! And what business is it of his if I'm peeing or not?
_____________________
And if, by chance, you can't imagine a conversation worse than that one, I'm here to tell you that once Trigger was indeed in the emergency room (and I, in church mind you. . . ) our primary means of conversation then became texting:
Trigger: Am hooked up to an I.V. now and they're giving me lots of medicine.
Me: did u tell them u have lupus and did u give them you rheumatologist name (I have yet to master the art of punctuation and capital letters while texting. . .)
Trigger: Yeah, but they said I had to get hooked up right away.
Me: r u dehydrated u father was right i bet u werent peeing what medicine they giving
Trigger: I don't know!
Me: ask them then tell them that doctor milkmans number is two one two eight five three two two nine three (How does one text a number???)
Trigger: Some antibioitics, some painkillers, antinflammoatory (spelling has never really been Trigger's strong suit. . .) and something so I don't throw up.
Me: i think im going to throw up send it here
Trigger: Mom!
I could go on like this forever,
but know that if Trigger were not back
in her dorm room within two hours of these texts,
I would not be here reporting to you as an ever-faithful . . .
but know that if Trigger were not back
in her dorm room within two hours of these texts,
I would not be here reporting to you as an ever-faithful . . .
12 comments:
Sorry she is sick. It's troubling when they are away from home. My daughters both had bad gallbladders of all things.
CUTE post though, hope she's fine?
Oh man. I feel for you. During one of my trips to England, my then-8-year-old, who never got sick, got sick. Really sick. When I was 3,000 miles and an ocean away. And I felt so horribly helpless and guilty. I hope Trigger's all better QUICKLY!!
Yikes! I hope she is better.
So what was the diagnosis? strep? mono? both? Or was it lupus related?
my daughter came home from college with swollen glands and headache. She was misdiagnosed and was too sick to get out of bed on her birthday (12/25). The next day Urgent Care confirmed mono. The same daughter told me about her unconscious ambulance ride to the ER (not in the same city as college) when she realized the bill would come to her home address. I prayed for God to slow her down a little . . . be careful what you pray for.
Was that tongue in cheek about how to text numbers? Just press and hold the number key.
Poor Trigger. I hope she is feeling better now.
You probably have to hit your function key in order to text numbers!!!
Hope she feels better soon!!
Ugh, been there. I'm feeling for you and her, but mostly you...she'll get better.
And it took me forever to learn to text numbers. Ask a teen. They can hook you up. :)
It is so hard when they are away from home and sick. I hate it!
Poor kid! Hope she is better soon.
How frustrating! I am rejoicing in newly acquired empty nest phase but it obviously is never truly empty as far as our hearts, worries & phone calls is it?
I hope she is better.
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