New Commercial for Verizon Wireless . . . shot in suburban New Jersey Verizon store.
Take One!
Verizon Rep: Mrs. Mom on Spin? You're next. How can I help you?
Frazzled Middle-Aged Woman: I desperately need your help to decipher my cell phone bill. Months ago I opted for an on-line bill and so I no longer get a paper bill and I kinda open it only when I go to pay it ('cause, believe me if I had known about this, I would never have let something as important as this lapse) but my husband has all of the passwords and he's away right now and I really need to get to the bottom of this problem.
Verizon Rep: And what problem would that be?
Frazzled: Well I gave my phone number to that woman when I checked in and you must have my account open so you must see what the problem is. .
Rep: Well are you Veggie?
Frazzled: No, I'm not Veggie.
Rep: And clearly you're not Mr. Drip Dry . . . is that correct?
Frazzled: Yes, you are correct on that one.
Rep: Well only Veggie and Drip have authorization to talk to me about the account. I can't tell you anything.
Frazzled: Well Mr. Drip Dry is away right now and Veggie's my oldest daughter and might very well be the culprit. . . so I desperately need your help! Would it help if I told you that I recently paid a $430 cell phone bill??? And the on-line banking bill is now telling me that I owe you $950 dollars right now! Could you please just reassure me that my payment got applied and I only owe you $520 for last month's bill???? Could you at least do that for me???
Rep: Well, yes, I can confirm that you now owe Verizon Wireless $516.
Frazzled: (breathing a sigh of relief that she only owes $516. . . ) And can't you just peek at that bill for me and tell me which one of my three daughters I need to kill right now? It's very important that I get the right one. . .
Rep: Okay, let me look. . .
Frazzled: Oh, Thank you! Thank you!!!!!!
Rep: Now it looks like it could be this number that has the problem . . . 973-867-5309. . .
Frazzled: TRIGGER! Damn! I knew it! How did that bill get so high? What did she do? Was it texting? Downloads? Navigation system? What????
Rep: It looks like it was texting. . . let's see. . .
Frazzled: But doesn't she have unlimited text messaging?
Rep: The unlimited part is for in-network texts. She only has 1,500 out-of-network texts for free.
Frazzled: Holy God above! How many out-of-network texts did that child send in one month?
Rep: 6,000.
Frazzled: WHAT???
Rep: Well, actually it was 5,948 out-of-network text messages. . . and only 1,500 of them were free and so over 4,000 of them were billable. . .
Frazzled: (now clearly in an altered mental state. . . ) Well, do you offer a plan that has unlimited out-of-network texts so we can stop this from going any further????
Rep: No, I'm sorry. The plan with the most out-of-network texts only covers 4,000 per month, so she'd still have to cut back on her texting habits.
Frazzled: (regaining a small bit of sanity) Well, can I cut off her texting option from her phone right here and now?
Rep: I'm sorry, only Veggie or Drip Dry can do that. You're not authorized on the account.
Frazzled: Oh. . . right. . . Veggie. . . and Drip. . . one of them will get back to you on that. . .
enter. . .
Ponzi: (breathless with excitement. . . ) Mom! I figured out which phone I want! The guy over there told me I'm due for an upgrade and I have a $50 credit so the new Blackberry would only be like $53 and then $15 a month after that. . .
Frazzled: Oh, this is my third daughter, Ponzi, she's not the one who. . . well. . . you know. . .
Rep: Yes, I see. . . but you're still not authorized. . .
Frazzled: Believe me . . . I understand! (now clearly trying to uphold the last shred of dignity she once had while whisking Ponzi away. . . ) Ponzi, we are not getting that phone right now! Do you understand? Are you insane?
Ponzi: But why can't she call Dad? It's not fair to punish me for something that's Trigger's fault! You do that all the time, Mom. . . get mad at me for something Trigger's done!
Frazzled: We're just not doing it now!
Ponzi: But why not????? Why not? Mom! I said. . . why not????
scene fades to black. . . and. . . Cut!!!
20 comments:
I went through a similar situation but thank goodness not so much $$$$$$$$. On the phone the LG Rumour agent said I did not have authorization for him to speak to me! I asked what I had to do so he could speak to me and as I pay the $%^^&* bill. He said to have the husband call and allow me to ask questions or to make it easier the husband could go online and add me. So as he continued to ramble on, I went online added myself then told him I now have authorization. The agent tried at first to give me a hard time but since I had authorizaiton and was about to give him a dose of my 'full thoughts' he answered my questions about the stupied 78 page bill.
I HATE it when that happens. Truly, I feel your pain. My husband has never once paid a single bill in our house, and yet there are people, Cingular Wireless included, who refuse to take direction from me without his authorization. It boggles my mind!
Crazy. Thank goodness my husbands Verizon bill is through his work. So far I am happy with AT&T. But I am not holding my breath.
At least I have a better understanding of how the billing works. I'm on Verizon. You guys could call and text me for free!
Oh, Good Lord above. This is what terrifies me about having children with cell phones.
And my husband (conveniently?) forgot to tell my mother in law that my 9yr old son cannot have a cell phone, so now he's going to have one, too. What the freak for?! He's freakin' 9!
-gasp, pant, scream!-
Ok, done.
Heh. Let the little buggers text the whole world and/or call Namibia every day. It's on her bill, not mine. - evil chuckle -
OH my God, who to kill first? The damn people that don't think you have any authority over your own money, or your darling nimble-fingered daughter???
Been to both of those places and they both suck.
But you, my dear, are a riot!
Oh my goodness. We are taking my eldest daughter in to get a cell phone in the next couple weeks. I actually offered it. She didn't even ask. What. have. I. done.
We no longer have a landline & use our cell as our main numbers. I guess I should be grateful that our bill only had 4,500 texts. You've got me beat!
THAT is exactly why I'm holding off getting my 11 yo son a cell phone for as long as possible. And I hate when a company won't let me access an account that is setup in my husband's name. I guess being his wife doesn't count for anything...
I actually called Verizon once and said I was my son and canceled his phone service.
Years ago a bank teller stopped me from depositing my husband's check into a checking account with my husband's name on it because she thought I forged his signature. Yikes! I drove down the street and deposited it at another branch.
I love the way the rep. is happy to use the nicknames. When I went into the bank and started talking about Red Fox and Little Man they kicked me out.
I hate that when I can't talk to someone because my hubs's name is on the account. When we moved here, I put everything in MY name or both of our names. Much better for me.
We have AT&T and for $5.00 a month I can have his phone "shut down texting" after he has reached a certain number. Based on your experience, it is worth that $5 each month. I pondered over it, but now I know I made the right decision! It also allows me to limit other things, such as hours the phone can be used, accessing the internet, attaching pictures to texts/e-mails, etc. I love it.
This is why I have no cell phone. Of course, this is also why I have so little blog-fodder...
been there, done that with Verizon, except it is me and my son who were the authorized users to talk with Verizon. In fact when hubby lost cell phone and we had to go into the store, they assumed he was my son. I finally put him on the account too so now he can talk. previously it was just worth having son on it to take care of the messes he made
we have been the same with going over texting, going over minutes, etc. Each time we try to tighten up because I say "I get a big bill next month, there goes the cell phone". But he has a plan where he gets 5000 unlimited texts that I thought was out of network ones too. Amazing they could text so much! I did hear a report of a girl that had over 7000 texts in a month; when do they sleep?
betty
Too bad they don't make something they could just talk into instead of having to type everything....oh wait..
I'm a little afraid for when my kids become teenagers. I always hear horror stories about high phone bills and this scares me.
We also have Verizon. I wasn't on the account either and the guy on the other end was speaking to me as though I were some disease or something.
OK, this was a fiction story right? Because there isn't enough time in a month to send FOUR THOUSAND TEXTS!!!!
Please tell me you exaggerated those amounts. Please!!!
Wow....that's really all I've got to say....good luck lol.
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
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酒店上班,
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華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
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