Pizza Place Chick (Hereafter known simply as PPChick) Hello. . . Your Local Pizza Place. Can I help you?
Me: Yes, I'd like to place an order.
PPChick: Will that be for pick-up or delivery?
Me: I'll pick it up, but will you stand outside and throw it in my car so I don't have to park?
PPChick: Okay, sure. What do you want?
Me: I want a large order of your macaroni and cheese. I've seen it on your menu but I've always been ashamed to order it. . . but you see . . . the rest of the family won't be home tonight. . . and I always save my macaroni and cheese pig-outs for when I'm all alone and no one can judge me . . . you know what I mean?
PPChick: Yeah, I know. . .
Me: And - truth be told - I've had a really bad day . . . and I need that comfort food now!
PPChick: What was so bad about it?
Me: Well the first thing my eyes were drawn to when I went downstairs this morning was a parking ticket magnetized to the refrigerator . . . compliments of Ponzi, I'm sure. . . and then I purposely arrived at work a half-hour early but the people I was meeting showed up forty-five minutes late. . . throwing off my funeral timing completely . . . and I mean . . . completely. . . . it was the last of five funerals. . . knock wood. . . and then the office worker who I thought was coming never exactly showed up. . . and then there was a lot of turf warfare going on. . . very un-church-like if you ask me. . . and then when I got back home there were dishes in the sink. . . I ask you. . . is there no one in the family who can put a dish in the dishwasher?. . . not one?. . . well . . . anyway. . . then the pizza-resistance (pardon my pun) came when I went to the mailbox and received yet another rejection letter from a literary agent in the mail . . . I don't know why the hell those people have no taste. . . I could make millions for them. . . but I guess you don't want to hear all of this from me now. . . do you?
PPC: So. . . about the macaroni and cheese. . . when do you want to pick it up?
Me: Well, when will it be ready?
PPC: I don't know! We haven't made it yet! I've been on the phone with you the whole time!
Me: Will you just call me when it's ready?
PPC: Yeah!
Me: Do you need my number?
PPC: No. . . we have caller I.D.
Me: Okay. . . You'll call me. . . right? You won't forget? Promise me you won't forget???? 'Cause I'm not giving you a tip if you forget. . .
PPC: No, I won't forget!!!
Me: So how much will that be?
PPC: Let's see. . . with the family discount, it comes to exactly three dollars.
Me: That's it?
PPC: Yeah, Mom! That's it! Can we get off the phone so I can place your order now?
Me: Okay. . . Bye honey. . .
PPC: Bye Mom . . .
Me: And Trigger?
PPC: What?
Me: Are you always this fresh to your customers on the phone??? No wonder no one's been putting any money in that tip jar!!!
20 comments:
LMAO! I was wondering how this bored disinterested girl was going to deal with you.
It's so much fun to mess with your kids.
Did she forget?
too funny and cute :-)
That's great. I wondered why PPC was putting up with that!
You had me going there!! Great job!
I can't wait to pester my kids a little more than I already do! Isn't that the great reward of parenting? I think it is!
Love it! You always make me smile or groan. Sometimes both together!
Score one for you! That was fabulous!
(I was so engrossed in the description that I knocked on wood when you said it!)
Fabulous, although you would have given your response to "what was so bad about it?" to any pizza girl right?
Well played, my friend! I wish you lived near me. I'd have my husband make some of his awesome macaroni and cheese and send it over to you. Free, of course!
And what IS it with the darn dishwasher? I swear the thing must be invisible during the hours I'm not home because no one in my family can seem to find it without my help.
Loved it! I love messin' with my kids! I think we share a kindred spirit!
That was toooo funny!! Glad you have the last laugh sometimes!!
I hope she has good aim. You don't need a car to wash on top of all that.
Funny!
What a great post.
Seriously...that is awesome.
OMG! Is that your daughter at L*vey's?!
;)
I love Macaroni and Cheese... And Pinot Grigio - Definitely! And cake! And you! xox
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