Braja and Amy haven't asked me to participate in their One Morning a Week exchange. . . but they should.
'Cause I could show them what each of them has mericfully avoided - Braja, all peaceful and serene in her Indian village . . . and Amy, all busy in the throes of raising her three young sons.
So I'm barging in - just for today - to show them what my morning was like yesterday (If they want contrast, I'll show them contrast. . . ) and someday in the future, they just might thank me for it.
Oh, and if any of you want to take the role of Me in this one, go right ahead. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sound asleep in my Goldilocks bed at 6:45 a.m.- after battling a long, nomadic, and sleepless night - only to be awakened by Trigger's revelrie. . . .
Trigger: Mom or Dad?
Me: (all croaky morning voicey) Yes?
Trigger: Mom or Dad?
Me: (still croaky - cause, remember, I've been sick. . . ) Yes?
Trigger: MOM or DAD!!!!
Me: Trigg! You don't have to be so loud. I was trying to answer you!
Trigger: Well, I have to be that loud 'cause you're both like practically deaf!
Me: What is so important that you need to wake me up at this time in the morning?
Trigger: I need $75 for my Prom bid.
Me: Is your room picked-up yet? The cleaners are coming today and you promised you'd have it ready by 10:00 last night.
Trigger: But I need the money.
Me: You'll get it when your room is clean.
and so I drift peacefully back to sleep only to be awakened again ten minutes later. . .
Trigger: My room's clean, now where's the money?
Me: I'll get up and get it in a minute
Trigger: You said I'd have it when my room is clean. My room is clean now and I don't have it.
Me: I said You'll get it when your room is clean, not, You'll have it the second your room is clean. . . give me a minute! You're not walking out the door right this moment are you?
Trigger: No, but it like practically takes you ten minutes just to write a check. . .
Me: Shut up!
Trigger: Are you saying Shut up! to your own daughter? That's real grown-up, Mom!
Will someone please promise me something?
When I really do get old and I'm like practically deaf and I start moving a wee-bit slower and it might take me like ten minutes to write a check . . . .can you see to it that I'm never left alone in a room with Trigger? 'Cause I just might strangle her, but it will probably take me like a half-hour to do it! and she might get to me first!
12 comments:
I promise!! Only if you promise to return the favor.. Word Girl's favorite nick name for me is bag lady.. and it isn't because I carry around a lot of useless junk..
Honestly? That sounds just like mornings at my house!
At least she's talking to you.
Wow! Are you sure VM's Bitchy didn't move in with you?
I would wait until the second before she walks out the door to give her the damn check.
I will be there for you, however, I might be there holding her still so you CAN strangle her
I'm still back wondering what a Prom bid is and why it costs $75.
What you can do is keep insisting they lean in closer so you can hear them - then you hook their scrawny little necks with your cane. Whatever you do - never let the upper body strength go.
and no coffee either. that is almost elder abuse. and "effed" up in a large way.
God, why can't you just write the check and shut up already; you make such a big deal out of Everything...
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Are you sure you don't have my daughter trapped at your house? (If you do, you can keep her!)
As long as you have a jury of your peers, no one would convict you!
Are you sure you don't live in my house?
This post was actually quite comforting to me, since I know now I am not alone in this cruel world of teenage hormonal hell.
Sounds like a bad movie. Oh ok I'm not calling your kids bad movie actors. Just...y'know....that NOISE. What the hell would I *do* with it???
Man, I would LOVE to fix my son up with any one of your daughters. Holy cow, who would be the center of THAT world?!
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
酒店經紀,
酒店工作,
酒店上班,
酒店打工,
禮服酒店,
禮服公關,
酒店領檯,
華麗夢想,
夢世界,
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